Beat down like Rodney King

Across the hall, Sammy Farha and other high rollers are playing billion-gazillion blinds Omaha, hold’em, name your game, while I’m sitting in the small tournament room with my laptop plugged into the wall playing 2-4 and 3-6 blinds no limit hold’em on Bodog.

When I started out, I had hoped for a little better than this.

Now while I didn’t expect to be trading bluffs with Sammy Farha, I had wished for more success at the tables.

I feel like I’ve taken an anal probe with a horse brush today.

Where should I begin? Since winning $900 in that crazy 10-20 limit game at the Grand Sunday night, I didn’t win anything for two days…and I mean ANYTHING. The capper was today. I try not to post too many bad beat stories, but here are four back-to-back-to-back-to-back ones that are too juicy not to share.

I was playing in a $130 satellite at the Gold Strike in which two winners receive a 500 lammer and $70 cash each. Early in the thing I get Ac-Kc under the gun and raise. Two people call. Flop is Jc-Qc-2c. I bet 200, get raised to 500 and get a check raise all-in from the player in the big blind, a dealer at Silverstar casino in Philadelphia (Mississippi, that is.) I insta-call and he turns over J-Q. You can guess between two possible river cards. You know it’s one or the other. I manage to quintuple up with A-K when I go all-in and river broadway on the next hand. We got down to three handed and my dealer buddy, clad in MSU cap and goofy dogs playing poker shirt (OK, I admit I have one myself. An ex-girlfriend gave it to me for my b’day.) raised from the button. I push with 8-8. He calls with 5-5. Guess the river card. This time he has me covered.

Next satellite a man to my left is practically wiggling in his seat waiting to play a $1,060 to try and win his way into the World Poker Open main event. On the first hand he eliminates one guy by bluffing all in and rivering a straight with 6-9. On the second hand he eliminates me after I raise with A-K and he calls. Flop is A-3-3. I bet, he raises and I push all-in. He turns over T-3. I assume this is not his normal mode of play in the thousand sixties.

Time for a break? Hell no. I mosey over to the poker room and, how lucky for me there is one seat available in a 1-2 NL game. I buy in for $200 and promptly get pocket aces on the second hand. I make it $6 and a fellow in the big blind raises to $25. I make it $60. He puts me all in. My second easy insta-call in less than an hour. He turns over K-K. You know the rest.

Worst one-hour stretch of luck I have ever seen.